Yeah Nah

I've coped almost four weeks now without speaking to you. I've done really well I think, considering I'm sorta the clingy type. It's awful & I am getting better (whether you realise it or not, I don't know). It's just gotten to the end of my allowance. I don't want to go a month without talking to you, it's not right.

These last couple of days have been really hard actually. I've got a whole lot of self doubt & stuff I'm self conscious about that I haven't really let you in on. For me, it's part of being female, written into that X chromosome you guys don't have. I know I'm not perfect, but lately I've been scared that when I get to England you'll realise it too. Please don't. Ever.

Gay. Now I sound like I'm self depreciating, which I am, but I need the reassurance sometimes. Yeah. Sorry. Brain dump.

I do love you. I know you love me. It's just occasionally I have a problem loving me.

APART from that, loads has been happening lately, but I want to talk to you and hear your voice and hold your hand and wake up next to you and spend time doing nothing and to spend time with you not having to say anything. I want to be there. More than anything else in the world right now, I just want to be there.

X